Stop asking if I have a boyfriend

Ahh…this question. I keep getting asked. Always. And the story is always the same. “Do you have a boyfriend?” “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” “But you are so pretty.” To some people, it just doesn’t make sense, and some people can’t fathom why I do not have a boyfriend. Well, I can tell you why.

Let me start here:

  1. I have been in love once. I have only been in love one time. I thought I was going to marry that guy. When we broke up, I did not just loose a boyfriend, I lost a best friend. Regardless of what happened all those years ago, I tried to be strong through it all. After all, me being me, I hate to admit defeat. Whether we were good together or not, but that is the funny thing about life. Sometimes, you just simply outgrow people. It hurt a lot when that relationship ended. Part of me still hurts. I vowed that year never to let myself get close enough to get hurt by someone like that again.
  2. I have dated a lot of ass holes. I have dated players, liars, cheaters and narcissist. To say that I have a bad taste in guys would be an under statement. For some reason that I can’t explain, I seem to attract sketchy, shady, rude and unnecessary people into my life. That is something, that to this day I will never be able to wrap my head around. I mean, I know that good guys are out there somewhere, but where is my good guy? Disney, as much as I love Disney, they destroyed my outlook on love and life.
  3. Maybe I just like being single. Now, there is one. Did you ever think about that? Maybe I like having a stress free life. When I am not dating someone, not receiving a text message means nothing to me. I love myself, my life, my family, my friends. They are the world to me. I love doing things on my own. In fact, I love dating myself. I have seen so much of the world and have made it my mission to broaden my horizons enough that it is going to be pretty tough to find a man that can compete with that.
    So please, to all the people that ask why I do not have a boyfriend and all the people that think I should, it is not for lack of trying or lack of wanting one. I am dancing to the beat of my own drums and living my own life. Not yours. Yes, sometimes I am afraid of being alone. But that is no reason to jump into something or to follow somebody else’s life. No. I am not any less of a member of society. After all, society needs strong, independent black women. Who else is going to run the world? I am whole and I can easily flip the question around and ask, Why are you married? Why are you dating someone? 

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